Euro 2008: what if...?

I'm enjoying Euro 2008, which I think has been a great tournament.
I'm not going to bemoan the absence of the England football team - to be frank, we had our chance under poor Steve McClaren (aka the "Wally with the Brolly") and blew it.

Besides just imagine if England was in Euro 2008:

• We'd be bombarded with useless tabloid tittle-tattle about the WAGs, not to mention the obligatory pouting "Posh" pics.
• We'd also be assailed with the equally useless tabloid hype depicting our average English national team as masters of the known universe.
• McClaren or a senior England player (or both) would be spouting meaningless "ENGLAND EXPECTS" rhetoric.
• The metatarsal or cruciate ligament would be under scrutiny, as a key England player succumbs to injury.
• We'd fret endlessly about the hooligans.
• And there would be the usual lamentation that accompanies the inevitable England exit, followed by the usual post-mortem asking why Lampard and Gerrard really, really can't play together in the same team.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to tomorrow's final between Germany & Spain - and we'll find out if Gary Lineker's remark still holds true:

"Football is a simple game: 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans win."